H.L Rudd is back after a self-care hiatus. I know y’all understand, because y’all are the best. Expect a new post on the 15th of each month.
They say major changes in life are almost like chapters in a book. I often don’t see them until I look back, but I think in a lot of ways, it’s true. I can think of specific times, sometimes even specific days or moments, when life changed in ways that I’d feel for years to come. It brings with it bitter nostalgia, but also a freshness. It’s like taking a deep breath.
I turned thirty last August, and I can feel the next major change now that I’m close to a year in.We’re approaching the halfway mark for 2019, and I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on this palpable shift.
In short, 2019 has been wild. How wild, you say? I’d like to take a moment to think aloud about the two biggest changes.
The first thing is a most distressing departure from my lifelong norms. For the first time in my life, I have a serious “adult” job. I don’t really like the term, because all jobs are “adult” in my eyes, but it’s what people say. I’ve always worked for family, worked for myself, or had jobs with highly flexible schedules. Now, I have a 9 to 5, and I’ve never lived on a true schedule before.
It’s hell. I love the job, but the schedule is hell. I’m not a schedule person in most senses. But, that’s not always true…My second big change comes as a direct response to the new grind.
In response to this new crunch on my time, I’ve damned myself to a tight writing schedule. I even erected a shrine on my corkboard. An orderly collage of notecards looks harshly upon my desk, reminding me of every deadline for every project I aspire to in the year. I call it the “Board of Judgement”, and I both hate and love it.
Intimidating? Sure. Motivating? Absolutely. I can’t stand failure, and deadlines light my fire.
So, new schedules all around. I think I can do it. Bring it on.
Have you gone through a big change lately? Do you want pictures of the Board of Judgement? Do you want “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” to return? Tell me in the comments.